Jessica Lee wins. She wins everything. Drawing on her knowledge of the periodic table, the graduating high school senior's parting words of wisdom -- published under her photo in the Garfield High School yearbook -- appear to be a nerdy recitation of elements. But wait. Look a little closer.
I could tell you what the translation is…but I think it’s more fun if you click on this periodic table, and solve it for yourself! (Especially since the resulting lyric is a teeny bit NSFW.)
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